Healthy Hedonism: Smoke Your Weed Through an Apple Bong

Almost entirely off-point: Our hearts pump 1,776 gallons of blood a day. Dear Jesus, imagine that for a second. That's insane! Bodies are so cool.

Anyways...

Tis the season for apples. Now, I never notice this season too much, because I think apples are pretty delicious year-round. But, it's something I keep in the back of my mind, mostly because I'm still holding out on my dream autumn day of apple-picking followed up by fresh homebaked apple pie and watching a movie cuddled under a blanket drinking apple cider.

Unfortunately, this has yet to happen. You know how it is with us kids and our grand plans that half the time don't come to fruition (pun intended); you're all pumped and driving to the orchard and then you see a billboard for the world's biggest burger off exit 67, just 12 miles ahead, and there is NO WAY you can pass that up. So, the apples wait another year.

Well, I still haven't gone apple-picking, unless you count plucking tart half-ripe apples from the orchards in NC and munching down while reading under the tree. Mmmm.

But I eat apples almost every day and had a fun time making experimental baked apples with JJ a couple nights ago (note: goat cheese and cayenne are really good in baked apples, especially together), so I decided to devote a post to them (specifically, to their health benefits).

Now, I don't know about you, but I never really think about the health benefits of apples. I mean, I don't think too much about the health benefits of any of the food I eat, beyond trying to make sure that there are some. But I still know that nuts are high in fiber and cranberries are supposed to contain antioxidants, etc etc. As for apples, I just love them because they're fast, filling, healthy and delicious. But I never knew how specifically they were healthy. Until now. And now you will, too.

• A medium-sized apple contains 15% of your daily fiber. Good to know. 
• They contain antioxidants (doesn't everything, though?)
• Eating half a medium-sized apple a day can help lower cholesterol (make a mental note, all those multitudes of overweight middle-aged men reading this right now)
• There is good evidence suggesting that apples help reduce the risk of colon and breast cancer
• Here's where it gets interesting: apples have a strong link to lung health. They significantly lower asthma risk and, here's what caught my attention: eating apples every day has been shown to reduce the risk for lung cancer in women. Furthermore, apples are the only fruit that have this beneficial relation to lung cancer. 

Well, if I didn't already eat apples every day, that would have convinced me. Now that you know why to eat apples, let me offer a suggestion for what apple to eat: the Pink Lady. They're yellow and pink and have this really interesting waxy texture that makes me feel like individual water droplets should stick to them. Also, they're freaking enormous. I'm talking the size of a softball. Pretty sweet and tangy. Basically, they're the crispiest and most delicious apples ever. If you're looking for a cheaper alternative, Jazz apples are pretty similar and I think $1 less per pound?

Okay, so here's what you've learned today: next time you're getting high and watching Fight Club or whatever, smoke out of an apple. It'll help cancel out some of the effects of all that smoke in yo lungs, AND as a bonus you can eat the apple when you're done and the munchies hit.